NSV: Personal Best

Today's Edison Park (Chicago) Turkey Trot was a reason for me to be thankful for how far I've come in two short years. I ran in the snow and enjoyed a great race, making PERSONAL BESTS in every category:

- my fastest mile (ever!)
- my fastest race time (ever!)

My first mile out was just under an 8 min. mile (I usually train at a slow, steady middle-aged marathon pace of 11 - 12 minute miles). Within half a mile I was at the front of the pack with all the high school and college track kids and the marathon runners. It was great fun to see how incredibly strong and fast I have become in 2 years. I ran almost 35 % faster than my first race 2 years ago. And I cut just short of 10 minutes from last year's race time, shrinking last year's speed by another 35%. The real blessing of beginning health & fitness later in life: it's easy to log amazing progress stats!

In the end, my main personal goal was to finish in any time under 30 minutes for the first time ever. I met that goal and discovered how delightful it is to run faster than ever before at the "old age" of 44.

For that, I am grateful. Happy Thanksgiving!

Eating to Run: Pumpkin Mousse Pie

Want a healthier alternative as we fall into pie season? Here's an easy, no-bake, low-fat holiday treat that's only 4 POINTS (TM) on Weight Watchers--less than half the points of a traditional pumpkin pie. Stas' and I made it together and it was a yummy fall treat.

Pumpkin Mousse Pie

Ingredients:
1 reduced fat graham cracker pie crust
1 1/4 cup cold fat-free milk
1 package (4 serving size) sugar-free fat-free instant vanilla pudding and pie filling
1 cup canned pumpkin
1 tub (8 oz) light or fat free cool whip, thawed
1 T. pumpkin pie spice OR 1 1/2 t. ground cinnamon, 3/4 t. ground ginger, and 1/4 t. ground cloves
1 beaten egg white (optional)

1. For tastier crust, brush with egg white and bake 5 minutes at 375. Allow to cool before filling pie.
2. In large bowl, beat milk, pudding mix and spice with whisk for 1 1/2 minutes. Whisk in pumpkin. Fold in HALF of whipped topping. Spread in pie crust.
3. Top with remaining whipped topping. (Or pipe on in decorative manner.)
4. Refrigerate at least 2 hours. Garnish as desired. Store in fridge.

YIELD: 8 servings
4 WW POINTS each

Recipe adapted from Keebler Co. & Weight Watchers Magazine

Graphic & Photo (c) 2007 Ann Hetzel Gunkel
Digital Supplies: Bump in the Night Collection by Erica Hite at Scrap Girls; Software: Adobe Photoshop

BOO! Here Come the Holidays

Boo, Scary!! For runners and health enthusiasts, Halloween can be a marker of impending doom. It's not just the fun-size Snickers that mark this scary season. In my nutty holiday-maniac universe (Just call me Jingle Dell...did anyone else see Wild at Heart?), 12:01 a.m. on November 1st marks the beginning of the entire holiday season. Just three weeks until Thanksgiving and it all goes wild!

Many people who are watching their weight and health find the prospect of coming holidays to be the scariest part of Halloween. But it doesn't have to be that way. Just remember what Stephen Gullo noted,

"No one ever gets heavy from one meal. It happens when you start a 30-day free-fall buffet on Thanksgiving Day."

One meal won't make you fat. But one meal that leads into a 6-week season of unconscious eating sure will! Start planning and strategizing now, so you can enjoy and indulge in a mindful way. There's no reason not to enjoy life (.....she says after her fun-size Reese's!)

On a personal note, I had the best Trick or Treat ever. At my Weight Watchers meeting, I hit my personal best goal weight. My BMI is now 23 (down 40 percent from my highest BMI of 38!).

I am now a total of 90 pounds less than my highest weight 5 years ago. And I've lost 62+ pounds with Weight Watchers. Spooky! I weigh 30+ pounds less than my wedding day 17 years ago! And much less than I weighed in high school! Having been plus-size my whole life, I have not weighed this since GRAMMAR SCHOOL! (Now, that's scary!)

HABITual Offender

Before embarking on my fitness and health journey, I was convinced that diet and exercise were a matter of gargantuan will-to-power, a triumph of the will beyond my abilities.

Not to diss my old friend Freddy Nietzsche, but there is no such thing as willpower. Drop this notion from your lexicon fast! (Existential Aside: Wille zur macht is a useful concept in critiquing the metaphysical drive to truth. I heart Nietzsche. But it's useless in thinking about the physical drive to sit on the couch.)

Here's what I learned about the myth of willpower:
We spend lots of time, hours, days--maybe even years?--gearing up for that moment when we will finally possess the strength to bypass brownies and run a marathon. The waiting never amounts to much. It drains the life out of you, though. You wait and scheme...and hope and wait... and convince yourself that tomorrow is the day. An hour from now is the time. A week from now, I'll turn it around.

I spent a lot of time burning psychic energy waiting for the magic of will power to arrive. Yeah, you already guessed it: the parcel of willpower is never delivered.

Did it take gargantuan willpower to will myself to sit on the couch? Nope. Don't think so.
Did it take an epic burst of commitment to will myself to be sedentary? Nope. Don't think so.

What it took was the HABIT of sitting around. The HABIT of being sedentary. The HABIT of mindless eating. Not an effort, a struggle or strength of character. Why should the reverse be any more true? Don't let the lie stop you from making the changes you want to make. It doesn't take strength of character or epic effort to be active and fit. It takes the HABIT of being active and fit. Sorry to disappoint those fellow philosophers among me, but there is no will-to-power in the health & fitness universe. There is simply habit. Good habit, repeated without undue psychic energy.

If you hear this message, "I'll just get myself psyched up and then I'll go run." Stop! This is a dead end. Just go and do it. No willpower is necessary. Just do it. And then do it again. And do it again. And soon the neural pathway of habit has you doing what you need to do. No struggle, no willpower, no torture needed. It really is that simple.

So if you don't have any willpower. No problem. It is absolutely unnecessary. No kidding.


Layout & photo (c) 2007 by Ann Hetzel Gunkel. Software: Adobe Photoshop; Digital Supplies: 727 Collection by design butcher at Scrap Girls.

NSV: Becoming a Lifer

This week marked a major milestone in the health & fitness journey: I received my Lifetime Membership Key at Weight Watchers and I crossed my one year anniversary on the health & wellness road. The hardest part of the whole thing, I think, was overcoming my own skepticism regarding my ability to change. From the vantage point of a year ago, I couldn't have possibly imagined a whole new me. But voila! It actually works. Perhaps this is a good time to reiterate the saga behind On Beyond Running for those of you looking for some inspiration.

Exactly one year ago this week, I was a middle-aged, 40-something, couch-potato mom with a family, full-time job and a part-time career on the side. I'd been a plus size for most of my childhood and adult life. I was sure given the weight of four score decades of "proof," that I was doomed to be fat.

Presto! Chango! In one year, I've lost over 10 clothing sizes, 33% of my body mass, and gone from frump to fab. My former 2x self now wears size Small. My double digit jeans--hell, I didn't even bother with jeans; just too brutal!--are now a size 4. My frazzled and frantic --but completely unfit--lifestyle has transformed completely. I've run two 5k races, am training for my first half marathon and run between 30 and 50 miles a week.

On behalf of my awesome physician, who helped me on this path, I should also report all the good stuff vis a vis my health: blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar, BMI, resting pulse. Perfect. Every last one of them.

Unexpected and amazing side effects of these transformations: these lifestyle changes "pay it forward." My spouse is now 40 pounds ligher and hotter than ever! and my six year old kid sees the importance of regular activity (we just biked 20 miles together last week on a family outing!) and scorns trans fats and fast food!

Here's the deal, if you think it's too good to be true: None of this was done with fads or fanaticism. It took serious commitment, serious planning and serious work. None of it happened fast or easy. That being said, there is no secret that you've been missing. It was painfully simple: eat less, eat better, exercise more. Be mindful of what you are actually doing. Have a plan. Stick with it for the long haul. Between two poles: Weight Watchers and running, it was absolutely workable.

One year later--god willing--was going to show up anyhow. It could have shown up with the old me or a new & improved me. I'm really glad I chose to risk the new & improved version. One year later, as Labor Day approaches, I've never been happier about the work I've done.

Hi-Tech Training for the Type A Runner

You know its bad when it comes to this: a birthday arrives and there aren't flowers or perfume or other niceties. Instead, you unwrap a runner's GPS and think, "What a great gift!" (Thank you spouse & son!)

For all runners (like me) who are also documentation-oriented, this is a fun training toy. Till now, I've timed my runs every day with a plastic watch that doesn't always work. Now, the GPS kicks in, the timer rolls, and I can get mileage or time alerts on the road, glance down to see my pace or distance, and upload the whole thing for training logs to analyze.

And this is a gift that really keeps on giving for the Type A personality. Once the GPS is rolling and the run is coming to a close, I think, "Well....but only .3 of a mile more and that would be a nice round number." Or "Gee, that pace is faster than I thought, I suppose I could try a little bit harder." You get the idea. This device is not so much hi-tech as it is automated gadfly. Another incentive to push the limits (just a little.) The GPS induced goal for my next birthday year: log a minimum of 1000 miles in those 364 remaining days. (I probably already do that modest amount anyhow--but the GPS makes it seem official.)

I know it sounds like a bit much--and it is--but its fun. For me, the effort is real when there's data that follows. I can train against an imaginary partner, time splits, or not. More likely not. But I like the idea of it. And that's what gifts are for.

LO Details: Design (c) 2007 Ann Hetzel Gunkel; Software: Adobe Photoshop; Digital Supplies: Daydream Collection by Erica Hite at ScrapGirls

NSV: Bon Voyage - On the [European ] Road with a Runner

Three weeks in Polish food heaven.

Doughy Obwarzianki from Krakowian street vendors. Smalec (old-style lard) on fresh rye bread. Late afternoon cafe breaks on the medieval Krakow rynek with some spectacular sweet pastries. Hot Paczki in the streets of Warszawa. Pierogi z truskawkami. [Pierogi with fresh strawberries.] Lody z makiem [Poppy-seed gelato.] Pure bitter drinking chocolate at Wedel. Toasting our relatives with chilled vodka and salty caviar. Enjoying every bite and every moment of our favorite restaurants and elegant old-school kawiarnie.

Victory: Arriving home jet lagged and burned out, exactly # -.2 less on the scale than the day our journey began. How to live it up and find this result? Stay tuned for my secrets!

First of all, I am not advocating the all-lard diet (although I do believe that the icy shot of vodka with my smalec & rye appetizer has magical power.) I was able to live it up without the scale going up. I am able to eat dessert without Weight Watcher's desertion. This is a first in my life. It marks an amazing non-scale victory.

1. Runner's bodies rule. After a year of lifestyle change, fitness and healthy habits, my body simply works better. It is efficient, muscular and burns more calories. It can handle a few weeks of fun. Wow! What a revelation.

2. Live it up! I had no intention of engaging in my annual and much anticipated hang-out in Poland by playing idiotic ascetic games with myself. I'm here to live and enjoy, not prove how spartan I can be with self-denial. This has never been a diet. I was not going to miss out on what I love in deference to some macho dietary will-to-power.

3. Activity. Activity. Activity. As always, we walk everywhere in Poland. With the exception of a few tramwaj [streetcar] journeys for the edification of my street-car obsessed son, we walk all day long. We walk anywhere from 2 to 5 hours a day. That's a lot of activity. At one point, I was earning about 50 AP (activity points on the Weight Watcher's plan) a week. For those of you not conversant with WW lingo, that's a lot.

4. Woda. Woda. Woda. Water. Water. Water. Like many Euro peoples, the Poles are drinking Woda Mineralna (bottled mineral water) around the clock. We do, too. On the road, it really helps with everything health and fitness related. Whether you choose gazowana or niegazowana, it's a good thing.

5. A fitness plan. Although I had mapped out runs in my favorite Polish cities, I had a backup plan for fitness. A really simple one. I threw a jump rope in the back of my suitcase. And I skipped rope (for the first time in my life!) every morning after Sniadanie for 30 - 60 minutes. Sucky? Kind of. Challenging? Yup. My legs hurt for the first 6 days and then I got over it. But I discovered that a runner can do such things. It's not a big deal when you are used to fitness.

6. A food plan. I took a little notebook, logged my fave Polish foods for reference, and kept track of my points for my entire trip. By the way, for the first time ever in my Weight Watcher's career, my weekly points exceeded their allowance. There was NO way I was going to stress about it. The deal was simply about keeping track and being mindful. Some days I had spectacular Lody Kompozycja (Polish ice cream creations). I logged the points and loved every second. It wasn't about denial but about mindfulness. I knew what I was doing and I owned it. After every meal, treat or indulgence, I asked myself, "Was it worth it?" The answer was usually yes, and I loved every morsel. No guilt. No mind games. No monkey business. "Was it worth it?" When the answer was no, there was no encore.


Upon returing home, I found it was the question on everyone's lips, "Well...did she gain it back? Did she collapse in a sea of szarlotka or start chain-drinking pure chocolate?" The answer is no.

These very ordinary concepts are my not-so-spectacular secrets for the victory of maintaining weight loss on a major European road trip. The revelation for me was that I can be en route and not unravel my fitness. A runner's healthy lifestyle gives me just enough wiggle room to live it up. So don't stress about bon voyage. It really can be a great journey.


About the Image: Layout design, photograph & digital papers (c) 2007 by Ann Hetzel Gunkel. Ribbon from Thao Cosgrove's Friendship Collection at Scrap Girls.

Notes about the Obwarzanek. This distinctly Krakowian street food is the heavenly, chewy cross between a pretzel and a bagel. The obwarzianki z sol [salt obwarzianki] are to die for. To preserve their unique flavor and regional presence, these doughy delights are currently under consideration for protected food status in the EU.

Running to Eat: The Paczki Avant-Garde

Being a runner allows me to really enjoy things that I love, to wit: paczki (the filled puff of Polish pastry dough.) During this most recent trip to Poland my family uncovered the ultimate paczek.

Understand this loud and clear: we are paczki people. We love paczki. We've had hundreds of paczki. We savor the subtleties and make mental notes. Heck, even our last dog was named Paczek in honor of this heavenly bit of plush dough. So when we say we've found the ultimate paczek it comes from a place of profound paczki connoisseur-ship.

Here's how it happened. We wander into an alley in Warszawa off Nowy Swiat. This narrow strip of ulica Chmielna is like any other. Except suddenly, I find myself following a scent, feeling like I'm floating on the aroma of paczki in the air. It hits all of us at the same time. "Dave, why am I floating on the smell of paczki? It's like a dream." "I don't know--but I smell it too." We follow the magical scent like someone in a cartoon, nose floating after the trail.

Then we spot it. A line of people queued up from here to eternity at an unassuming window. Cukiernia Pawlowicz. Gorace Paczki. [Pawlowiocz Sweets Bakery. Hot Paczki.] Our pastry-based dreams have come true! Out of this window, ladies are selling hot paczki. Hot. Plush. Sweet and un-bee-lievable. Paczki with rose-petal marmalade and coated in sliced almonds. Paczki with budyn (a simple pudding.) Paczki with forest fruit marmalade. Paczki from heaven.

Our excitement builds, we order (only PLN 1,70 for something this spectacular?!) one for each of our crew. The lady wraps them in a whisper thin paper sack, suitable for immediate on-the-street consumption. My son steps back after one bite, suitably dramatic for the momentous event and proclaims, "This paczek is out of this world. This is the best paczek I've ever had in my life." And although he's not quite six years old, he's had a lot of paczki in his time. And he's right.

Dead on. These are the very best paczki on earth. After 40+ years of paczki passion, we've found the holy grail of paczki. That this qualifies as a major life event in our clan means we are either elevated foodies or total losers (maybe both).

But really, these are the very best paczki on earth. We return to this spot, to this magical window of bakery bliss, every day for the rest of our stay in Warszawa. We call our relatives on the komorka (cell phone) and order them to the spot where we stand. We call my cousin on his komorka and entreat him to meet us in the alley. All must share in the paczki passion.

In celebration of this miraculous metaphysical paczek, I invent a new fictional punk band name for myself (an old habit of mine, by the way. Creating fictional band names for myself, despite the fact that I'm decades past being in a punk band or any other kind of band for that matter.) I have it now--the ultimate name for my ultimate band.

T-PAG: The Paczki Avant Garde. T-PAG. Has a kind of Tupac hip-hoppy ring to it. T-PAG. Has my initials in it, The Paczek of Ann Gunkel. Yes, my dream band about this dreamy pastry is The Paczki Avant Garde. T-PAG. At the forefront of paczki research. I've suitably marked this random discovery of the best paczek in the universe with my pretend punk rock tribute.

And this, by the way, is why I don't diet. This, by the way, is something I have no intention of skipping. This, by the way, is what makes life so fun. And this, by the way, makes every last bite worth the daily workout. It's the very best reason I can think of for running to eat.


Note bene for you who are not wise in the way of paczki. Paczek (punch-eck). Singular. Paczki (punch-kee). Plural. The "un" sounds is nasal as this is a diacritically marked Polish "a."

Layout Design & Folkloric digital paper (c) 2007 Ann Hetzel Gunkel for Scrap Girls. Photo by David Gunkel.

NSV - Episode 5: A Trail Runner's War Stories

One of the best things about running is the new avenue of experience opened by health & fitness. This past Memorial Day weekend, I was able to enjoy a series of adventures that would never have happened prior to my running life. My family hiked and climbed in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina several hours a day during a holiday visit to Oma & Opa. Being fit and strong made this exciting, delightful and fun, rather than a punishment. Moreover, the idea of NOT being active is now so foreign to us that such outings are simply a given as soon as breakfast is over.

Our first climb in the Pisgah National Forest was a moderately difficulty hike with a 40 minute ascent up the mountain, a cross-over on the mountain's ridge, followed by a steep descent. Several hours later, nearing the end of the trail, we encountered a six-foot long black snake--a MAJOR event for city folks like us and my five year old son. Yikes!

Thanks to suggestions from Opa and Oma Hetzel, we next headed to Dupont Falls. Our hikes were to wonderful waterfalls in the Dupont State Forest. We hiked down to High Falls and then over and down to Triple Falls. During this outing, I experimented with trail running. I've never tried my run on a rugged and steep surface such as mountain trails. And I loved it! The challenge of the terrain and the grades made it a great workout, especially for an urban flatlander like me. This adventure was made exhilarating by the spectacular waterfalls we visited. The wonder on my son's face was well worthwhile. And the cold spray of the falls felt pretty amazing after some serious uphill running.

Our last adventure in Dupont Falls is the source of my "war story." When I became a Weight Watcher's Warrior (I was dubbed so by my WW leader Peter), I didn't realize I'd be collecting battle stories along the way. This one comes courtesy of a mountain trail to the more remote Wintergreen Falls in Dupont Forest.

Giddy with the new challenge of trail running, I once again ran the terrain ahead of my family. I'd run the paths to the trail forks and then run back to my guys with directions. This back-and-forth continued all the way to the fall's descent. But I was having so much fun that I got careless. As you approach the waterfalls at any of these destinations, you encounter a stern (and scary) sign: "Danger! Steep cliffs and slippery rocks. Injury and Death possible." Well, I was so busy reading this ominous warning that I stopped watching my footing. And Boom! Tripping over a boulder, I took a good spill in two sharp moves--one smashdown to the shoulders and knees, followed by a whiplash move that sent my face careering into a rock.

After the shock to my body (and my pride--although I was all alone in the forest), I surveyed the damage, afraid to move. Calling for help from my guys--who had caught up to me on the trail, I found that despite some abrasions, bruises and a split lip later, I was without serious injury. Shaken but OK, we eventually climbed down to the falls in solitude, enjoying the wonderful scene.

I have to admit with a touch of machismo that this war story makes me secretly proud. Not of my dufus-ness, of course. But of my ability to engage these adventures with my runner's body. Being strong is giving me new opportunities to explore with my family, create memories, and enjoy all manner of excitements that would never have occurred to me in years past. That is worth so much more than the number on a scale could ever measure.

Notes: Some Tips for Trail Running on Hiking/Mountain Trails

1. Don't be like me. If you can, get some trail running shoes. The sturdier soles and support will help with rocks, muck, mulch, tree stumps, limbs and the rugged terrain. They will also prevent your "good" running shoes from getting trashed like mine did.

2. Even in the forest, put on sunblock.

3. Always have a terrain/trail map with you.

4. Wear sunglasses or prescription glasses. I was really glad for the old Rx pair that I use for running. When I took my fall, they protected my eyes.

5. A cap or hat is useful for keeping bugs, mulch, sun and sweat off your face. (I have a washable, wicking SPF cap that is pretty handy.)

5. Have someone take water, a snack, and a first aid kit in the hiking pack. I did not have the latter and wished for it once the aches set in.

6. When you are running, YOU MUST IGNORE THE SCENERY. You must keep your eyes down on the trail and at your feet at all times. The terrain is too rugged to run safely while sight-seeing.

Layout Design (c) 2007 Ann Hetzel Gunkel ; Photo (c) 2007 David Gunkel; Digital Supplies: Papers & Embellishments: Erica Hite's Daydream Collection at Scrap Girls
Ribbons: Thao Cosgrove's Friendship Collection at Scrap Girls.

On Hating Running

As I've noted before, when I first started this running thing, I hated it. To sum up, it sucked. But two years into it (and at my goal weight), I've learned a few interesting things about that initial hatred.

After a lot of running, I've gotten a lot better at listening to my own voice. To what some call "self talk." I can recall being over 200 pounds and trying like hell to run that one, slow mile. God, that was misery. But after some months, I realized that the misery wasn't in the running at all. It was in how I treated myself. Here's how a typical script went all of three minutes into a run.

"God, this sucks... It's hot... I hate this. I'm lame...Why am I so slow? How come I can't do anything right?... How come I'm fat and my ______ [neighbor, co-worker, friend] can eat whatever she wants to? I'll never be a real athlete.... Boy, am I fat...I bet I look like such a loser to that passer-by...I'll be a plus-size forever..."

You get the idea. I didn't hate the running nearly as much as I hated myself. Running just gave me a space and a chance to feel it directly. And believe it or not, this information took me months to hear. After some time running and some time working Weight Watchers, I started not only to listen to this self-talk but to change it. I would catch myself in the monologue of misery and put a stop to it. Then, I started to replace it:

"At least I'm out here doing it...I'm taking care of myself...I'm setting a good example for my son... Each of these steps gets me closer to a goal...Every day I do this is one more victory... I'm making improvements...A real runner is someone who runs. Period."

A year or two later (yeah, it actually takes a while), that old script is long gone. And when or if it should sneak back in--I'm on the lookout and ready to pounce.

Oh, and I don't hate running anymore.

Victory or "Why I'm not eating a layer cake to celebrate"

Way back in ancient times (well, as far back as last year when I first joined Weight Watchers), I had a lovely fantasy. There would be me at Goal Weight. I'm sure I looked good, although I couldn't quite picture it. I was confident and smooth, but I couldn't quite picture it. I was most likely wearing a small size jeans. And I'd be eating as much chocolate layer cake as I wanted to...oh, and lasagna and maybe something else extra tasty. Because thin people were people who could eat this stuff and still be thin.

Well...there's a reason WW is a gradual weight loss program. Because while you're busy changing your habits around food and exercise, you have enough time for your attitude to catch up, too. To wit:

When I hit my goal weight at WW, I jumped up and down like a maniac at the scale. And then I went home, proud and fulfilled by my progress. I wondered, what can I do to celebrate? I thought back to the "old me" and that fuzzy dream of one day being a "normal" size. And being able to eat all the "good stuff" without limit.

And you know what I realized? That the real victory wasn't that I was in the "thin club" and could now eat all the stuff to which the members of that secret society were privy. The real victory was somewhere else--somewhere that I had not expected at all. There I was at my goal weight and the reason I was there is that the idea of celebrating with a ton of cake or a sheet of lasagna seemed utterly empty to me. Why in God's name would I want to do that?

Aha! That was the secret. It wasn't that my thin colleagues could eat like lunatics. It was that they didn't want to do so as a way of celebrating, coping with or cheering their lives. The real victory happened when my former idea of "celebration" was as long gone and senseless to me as that elusive thin-person once seemed. Touche!

Eating to Run: Strawberry Tiramisu

I hate when someone tells me "it's as good as the real....[fill in the blank with tiramisu, fudge layer cake, etc.]." So I'm telling you, that this isn't! This isn't tiramisu with chocolate, liquer and marscapone. Are you nuts? However, this is a tasty and sweet 3 point dessert that takes about 10 minutes to assemble. So, enjoy!

Strawberry Tiramisu

Ingredients:
1 lb. fresh strawberries, chopped
3 T sugar
2 T orange juice
1/2 c. fat-free ricotta cheese
1/8 t. vanilla extract
1/4 c. vanilla (or strawberry) fat-free yogurt
1/3 of 1 (10 oz) frozen fat-free pound cake, cut into cubes

Directions:
1. Combine the strawberries, 2 tablespoons of the sugar and the orange juice in a bowl.
2. Puree (in a blender) the remining 1 T of sugar, and the vanilla. Add the yogurt and pulse just until blended. [You can skip the processor or blender and do this with a spoon.]
3. Layer (in a serving bowl or 4 individual bowls), the cake cubes, half of the cheese mixture and half of the strawberries. Then repeat the layers.
4. If you cover with plastic wrap and chill, the flavors will absorb and set even better.

Tip: You can cut the pound cake straight from the freezer. It will thaw by the time you eat dessert, even if you make it on the spot.

WW Points Value(1/4 of recipe): 3
Recipe: Adapted from Weight Watcher's Magazine, May/June 2007

Layout Design & Photo (c) Ann Hetzel Gunkel; Digital Supplies: Adobe Photoshop; Cherish Collection by Erica Hite at Scrap Girls; Friendship Collection by Thao Cosgrove at Scrap Girls

Reality Check: This is not your mother's diet

From the Goal Line, I now realize that the biggest obstacle I faced beginning the fitness and weight loss journey was the hurdle of my own preconceptions about Weight Watchers. I had a slew of misconceptions about what it was and who it was for. All of them were dead wrong. When my physician suggested WW, I almost gagged. I told her, frankly, that I thought it was "stupid" but I'd give her advice a try, since she's the doctor. Thank goodness I did. I was completely surprised by what transpired.

These are my misconceptions and what I discovered about them--because I'm betting you have some of these ideas, too.

Misconception No. 1: "WW is for old ladies or teenage girls." Reality check: REALLY wrong!!
My meeting is run by a man (an awesome leader, by the way.) My meeting is attended by young moms, senior men and women, teenagers, dads with young kids and the whole gamut. It is NOT ladies talking about dietetic chocolate bars or protein shakes. It is not about "rabbit food" or diet frozen dinners. Its about eating real food for real life. When I first heard about WW, I pictured my older cousins in the 1970s wearing polyester pantsuits and measuring out half cups of canned pineapple. Boy, oh boy, was I wrong!

Actor and WW member Greg Grunberg was in a cab in New York and this guy said, "Hey, I saw your commercial. Have you tried the lemon bars?" I'm like: You've got to be kidding me! This guy looks like one of the guys on The Sopranos--and he's on Weight Watchers! Everybody's on it. But it's not your grandmother's diet; it's not your mother's diet. It's your diet." Amen.

My childhood best friend, a guy, also joined WW and has hit his goal weight. [Paulie--you look fab!] By the way, WW online (which I adore) even has a whole new website just for guys.

Misconception No. 2: "I don't need WW. That's for weaklings and losers." Reality Check: This "Weakling & Loser" is now a real loser for the first time ever, thanks to WW. It works!

"Hey--I have a Ph.D., what do I need this for? Self-help books are for idiots and this is just a "group" version of a bad Dr. Phil show." Absolutely false. This is not vacuous self-help feel-good double talk. This is a real plan for health and fitness. It's not about personal strength, I.Q. or invincibility. It's not about how smart or strong you are. It's about behavior modification and habit changes. It's about strategies, a plan, information and sane progress. And stats are clear--these kinds of life changes work WAY better with group support.

Misconception No. 3: "WW isn't for me because I'm not a joiner and I hate groups." Reality Check: People who attend meetings lose THREE TIMES as much weight as those who don't. And after losing, those who did it with a group maintain their weight loss in vastly greater numbers.

I'm still not a joiner and I still hate groups. I'm as cynical and critical as they come. After all, I do cultural critique for a living! And guess what...this isn't a chat session on Oprah. This is not a twelve-step plan and there's no higher power to tap into except your own muscles. It's a real plan for health & fitness.

Misconception No. 4: "WW is just another diet plan." Reality Check: This is not a diet. It's a lifestyle change.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I don't do diets. That's why WW actually worked. This is not about deprivation, starvation or feminine discipline. This is not about low calorie shakes, boxes of prepackaged diet foods, protein bars, carb-phobia or the all-cabbage cure. This is about real food in healthy portions, mindful eating, and fitness. These are real life changes for a better and stronger life. Diets make Americans fat. Period. This is not a diet.

Eating to Run: Strawberry Rhubarb Crumble

I've always had a strange phobia about pre-historic-seeming plants and animals: the list includes rhubarb, sturgeon, and northern pike... If they "seem" prehistoric to my mind's eye, their perceived antiquity scares the bejeezus out of me. I know...it's odd. I think it's some peculiar philosophical vertigo when contemplating vast and epic stretches of time. I mean, how can that sturgeon at the bottom of Lake Michigan be over 200 years old? Creepy....

Anyhow, plants in this group include rhubarb--I can picture dinosaur limbs crushing its lush leaves across the millenia. When it grows like wild in spring, I find it scary. But somehow when David harvests it, mixes it with sugar, oatmeal and other good stuff...no prob! This Strawberry-Rhubarb Crumble is a tasty 3 point dessert that uses the bounty of rhubarb we find in our garden this time of year.

Fruit Layer:
4 cups chopped rhubarb
1 container chopped strawberries
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 t. quick-cooking tapioca
1 T grated orange zest
1/2 - 1 t. ground ginger

Topping:
1 1/2 c. rolled oats
1/4 c. flour
1/2 t. ground cinnamon
1 egg white
1 T. canola oil
1 t. vanilla extract
2 T. juice from orange

Preheat oven to 350. Combine fruit layer ingredients; mix and pour into baking pan sprayed with Pam cooking spray. Mix dry toppings. In separate bowl, whisk wet ingredients. Combine and spread over top of fruit. Cover with aluminum foil and bake for 20 minutes. Remove foil and bake for additional 20 - 30 minutes. Serve with fat free whipped cream, if desired.

Serving size: app. 1/2 cup
WW Points: 3 points per serving

Use whatever fresh fruits are in season. This version is perfect for our May bounty of garden rhubarb!

Recipe by David, adapted from WW Pure Comfort Cookbook and Moosewood Low-Fat Favorites.

Photo & Layout Design (c) 2007 Ann Hetzel Gunkel; Digital Supplies: Erica Hite's Cherish Collection at Scrap Girls & Thao Cosgrove's Friendship Collection at ScrapGirls

Goal Post

This is the Goal Post. I reached that elusive and seemingly surreal destination of my goal weight this past week. On Mother's Day, I hit the 50 pounds + lost mark. And finally, one school year later after joining WW, I achieved my milestone at Weight Watchers: hitting below my goal weight [52+ pounds lost.] I jumped up and down at the scale like a little kid, not quite sure that something so surreal was really happening to plus-size (no more) me. It was a major moment on the road to fitness. For the first time, the scale, my BMI, and my physician all agreed--I was neither obese nor overweight. That's a major life change. And a lot to absorb. The continuing challenges of maintenance will be forthcoming. But for now, I'm just basking in being a victorious road warrior.

Stats:
Total: -52 pounds lost
10 sizes & 24 inches less
Starting BMI: >33 Now: 24.8

Graphics: LO Design (c) 2007 Ann Hetzel Gunkel / Digital Products: Cherish Collection by Erica Hite at ScrapGirls; Fonts: Carvnivale Freakshow & Porcelain

NSV - Episode 4: Runner's High

It's real--not an apocryphal tale told to get you off your butt. Runners high does exist. And it comes in many forms. For me, it usually kicks in somewhere after around 40 minutes on the road. Suddenly, I'm just lighter and jollier than before. Sometimes I feel an amazing surge of renewed energy. Sometimes, like today, I find myself smiling or laughing--looking, no doubt, like a total loon to those I bypass. Sometimes, like today, I can get giddy, and find myself so preoccupied with the fun of running that I forget where I am.

That's what happened today, when a total stranger once again boosted my spirits. Last winter I wrote about the way folks cheered me on as I ran diligently the morning after a Chicago ice storm. Today it's a beautiful spring day in Chicago: the lilacs & bridal veils are in bloom, the sun shone down upon me, and as I raced past a crossing guard at the local school, he yelled, "Keep up the great work!" In an instant, I realized that it was the same guy from those months ago who had helped me on my way. So I yelled back as I zoomed past, "50 pounds lost," raising my arms in a mock Olympian finish-line gesture. He cheered again and called out, " Fantastic! God Bless you!"

I don't know this person's name. I've seen him twice in my life so far as I'm aware. But this complete stranger has boosted my spirits, encouraged my efforts and perked me up two-fold. That day last winter, I ran my first 8k. It seemed epic at the time. Yesterday, I ran my first 12K. It seemed epic, too. The journey continues on....aided by the enthusiasm and kindness of total strangers. Thanks to them, wherever they are, once again.

And as for runner's high, that unexpected cheering section buoyed me up such that a mile or two later, I realized I didn't even know where I was at--I was simply sailing on, lifted up by runner's high.

Peace through Strength

Peace through Strength: Orwellian nightmare or neo-Con military-industrial doubletalk? Both, of course. But I've just recently found a way that this odd turn of phrase makes sense. For women becoming fit and active, sometimes for the first time in their lives, gaining physical strength can be an amazing path to contentment and peace with self.

Whether at Weight Watchers meetings or online running groups, one hears over and over again from women, "I never thought I could do anything right. I never thought I could accomplish anything. But now...."

Let me amend that slightly. I've always been fortunate enough to be able to accomplish things. In fact, not to toot my own horn, I've got stacks of accomplishments: a Ph.D. in Postmodern Philosophy, a lovely family, a good life as an energetic and effective Professor, a second career as an artist, speaking & reading several languages, a Fulbright fellowship, living and studying abroad numerous times. And to top it off, I still find myself hand-making the invitations, decorations and favors for every one of my son's birthday parties. In many ways, I'm the horrifying embodiment of the "superwoman" with all it entails (good and bad.) But despite all that, I've never actually felt a sense of accomplishment. Indeed, nothing has ever been enough to undo that nagging feeling that I wasn't quite good enough.

Well, that has changed. Peace through strength is the miraculous uncovery of confidence in a middle aged psyche and middle aged body. How is it possible that something so "trivial" as my diet and exercise could transform this lifelong lack? Women's sports activist and first woman to run the Boston Marathon, Katherine Switzer says, "Most of our lives we're not in situations where we feel strong. But we realize through running that we are powerful and that we have stamina..." She's dead right. As I run and run and run, I'm in touch--maybe for the first time ever--with my own strength, my own ability and my own power.

In short, it rocks. It has transformed my attitude about myself in a way that no list of abilities and achievements ever did. Suddenly, I've got (inner) peace through strength.

NSV - Episode 3: Jean Therapy

The non scale victories (NSV) are often the most fun. I'm not vain (too much); merely amazed. Perfect blood pressure and cholesterol: cool. Size 6 jeans for the first time in my life: really cool.

I love running!

Layout Design (c) 2007 Ann Hetzel Gunkel
Supplies: Papers, Staples & Butterflies: City Camo Collection by design butcher at ScrapGirls; Measuring Tapes: ScrapSimple Embellishments: Measuring Tapes by Mandy Steward at ScrapGirls; Rickrack: Poppy Love Collection by design butcher at ScrapGirls; Tag: Vintage Spring Collection by design butcher at ScrapGirls; Stitching: Alphabet Soup Boy Collection by Erica Hite; City Camo Collection by design butcher at ScrapGirls; Photos: David Gunkel; Fonts: Virginia Plain, Eraser Dust, Minion, CK Script

Eating to Run: Breakfast of Champions

Morning fuel for your run matters. Make it count! This WW-and running-friendly breakfast is only 4.5 points. (If you have more points to play with, add up to 2 T. flax seed for great omega oils and healthy fats & lignins.) Statistical research is clear: people who eat breakfast lose and maintain substantially more weight than folks who don't. So, take five minutes and fuel that run with my preferred power breakfast. Enjoy!

Oatmeal: Mix1 cup organic oatmeal (appx. 1/2 cup dry), 2 T. dried cranberries and 1/2 T. organic flax seed. Add a drizzle of fat free half & half if you'd like. (Hint: They sell cases of excellent organic oatmeal at Costco for cheap!)

My bowl of organic oatmeal is accompanied by 1 light n fit yogurt, Coffee w/fat free Half & Half, Water and a Multivitamin w/ Iron.

It's healthy, high in fiber, takes just minutes to prepare, is energizing, low fat and filling!

Layout Design & Photo (c) 2007 Ann Hetzel Gunkel; Supplies: Erica Hite's Precious Boy Collection at Scrap Girls; Thao Cosgrove's Friendship Collection at Scrap Girls; Fonts: Wendy Medium & Marcelle

Eating to Run: David's Dream Pizza

That's right, We are so serious about food in our house that we now dream recipes. The following delighful pizza came to David last week in a dream, down to the exact amounts for the ingredients. It is his Roasted Beet and Gorgonzola pizza. Wow! It's a winner. And goes great with chianti or any robust red wine. Check this out--2 pieces (1/4 of a pie) are only 5 WW points! Now, that's dreamy. Enjoy!

Ingredients:
Homemade Pizza Dough
3 med. Roasted Beets, sliced thinly
1/4 cup Gorgonzola Cheese
1/4 cup far free Cream Cheese
Kosher salt
Fennel fronds, chopped
Chopped pistachios or walnuts, optional

Instructions: Roast the beets in tinfoil, drizzled with olive oil and kosher salt, at 400 degrees for 50 minutes. Slice the beets very thinly.

Prep and bake the dough at 425 (Bake 4 minutes on 1 side. Flip. Bake 3 minutes on other.) Mix the 2 cheeses into a spread and distribute over the pizza. Lay out the thinly sliced beets. Add kosher salt. Bake ‘til cheese turns slightly golden at edges (appx. 7 minutes at 425.) Add fennel fronds and serve.

The sweet and earthy beets are amazing with the tangy gorgonzola, the kosher salt and the chewy but crispy thin crust. The bite of the fennel fronds is a great touch. It is also amazing with some chopped pistachios or walnuts sprinkled on top. (Add 1 point for those, but they give you bonus healthy fats!)

Layout Design & Photo (c) 2007 Ann Hetzel Gunkel; Supplies: Erica Hite's Precious Boy Collection at ScrapGirls; Thao Cosgrove's Friendship Collection at ScrapGirls; Fonts: Wendy Medium & Marcelle

Eating to Run: One-derful, Wonderful Brownies

Healthy brownies? For those of us who love chocolate and who love sweets, this is a dream come true. I hesitate to post what seems like a product promotion, but on the other hand, one of the wonderful things about Weight Watchers is that we share discoveries and tips for menus, foods, and treats. And I'm glad to support positive entrepreneurs. So here goes.

I really respect folks whose business model is based on selling wholesome products that aren't poison. The folks at Vitalicious create snacks for people who care about what they eat. They are high in fiber, vitamins and nutrients. They aren't filled with chemicals and junk. And certainly no trans fats. I order the VitaTops (muffins) online by the case and freeze 'em.

I now enjoy their brownie baking mix. Its easy and ready in 25 minutes. I add some crushed pistachios to the top and I'm adding healthy fats and great taste. Best of all, each brownie, no kidding, is just one point (1 PT!) on Weight Watchers Flex Plan. I believe in spending my money to support decent small businesses rather than the corporate junk-marketers of "low fat" or "snack well" poison. So I order these products online from Greenwich Village-based Vitalicious and they show up at our front door ready to mix, freeze or serve.

As a runner and a mom, I'm loving that this Vitalicious Brownie Mix has added fun and fiber to our house. Best of all, they've passed the five-year-old-boy test. So enjoy! Eat healthy and love your brownies.

Layout Design (c) 2007 Ann Hetzel Gunkel / Photo: David Gunkel; Digital Supplies: Thao Cosgrove's Friendship Collection at Scrap Girls

Just Do It...The Fitness-Industrial Complex

Here's the deal: as a runner, I never have nor will I ever wear that corporate sports logo with the swoosh (TM) on my person. Their business practices, including marketing to the urban poor and using sweatshops around the globe, revolt me.

But their marketing has been brilliantly successful: it taps into our idiotic fascination with sports celebrities, our seemingly bottomless narcissism around self-transformation (just do it!), and our relentless passion for appearances. Let me be perfectly clear: You do not need to buy stuff to be a real runner. Your running does not need to expand the GNP.

What is wrong with this picture?: Middle aged yuppie-type walks out front door with siren on coffee cup sleeve, heads to SUV suitably dressed for an expedition to the Andes, and uses fossil fuels to journey to something called a "health club." I have lots of associates who really believe that the wrist curl performed while writing a check to that health club is getting them in shape. And trust me, its the only curl of any type they'll be doing for the next couple of months.

I am convinced that it is preferable to step out your front door, run, and be done. If you need an all-terrain vehicle, special gear, and a "club" to be healthy, something is amiss. I adore that my father-in-law began running decades ago (when it was only for "nuts") in his old basketball hi-tops and some beat up clothes. He could care less about gear. And by the way, all these years later, he's still fit as a (non-logoed) fiddle.

Having said that, I wouldn't encourage you to run without good shoes and a wicking t-shirt. Running in your old cotton t-shirt is cost effective, but uncomfortable. And you will stink. A wicking t-shirt, some basic "breathable" running pants or shorts, and shoes that fit are good tools to have. I use 'em and I like 'em. But I won't wear a swoosh. And my healthy pursuits aren't about to fuel the fitness-industrial complex.

It's Freiburg Weather...

It's Freiburg Weather. That's shorthand in our house for "Ann is going to hate this." When I awaken to hear my husband say, "It's Freiburg Weather," this means my run will suck and I will loathe the day I decided to take up running. Well...a little.

Let me backtrack. Somewhere around fifteen years ago, my husband and I found ourselves living in Freiburg, Germany when we received postgraduate Fulbright and DAAD Fellowships. This is a big deal for philosophy types. Freiburg is the place where Husserl "invented" phenomenology and Heidegger, perhaps the most important Continental philosopher of the 20 th century, wrote and taught. Anyhow...we found ourselves living in an attic apartment in "die Wiehre," a district that wanders right into the paths and foothills of the Black Forest.

The Schwarzwald has a distinctive microclimate: mountain-y, humid, foggy and damp. No matter what the weather, your best clothes are always slightly sweaty. It's like dropping Seattle into a German forest. I hated that climate--I was sick most of the time (and learned lots of medical terms in German.) Nonetheless, we spent lots of time climbing and hiking in the Schwartzwald out our front door. Lots of those journeys were hell on earth for my humidity-hating Slavic constitution.

But sometimes, the hell miraculously gave way to wondrous surprises: a magical vista, the transformative power of pine scent from the damp forest floor, a moment of sunny clarity, or just plain relief that the journey was over. One of those surprises followed a long, wandering climb where I sort of lost my bearings. After hours of crankiness (definitely up there on the "for better or worse" list my husband has endured), we stumbled upon a lush green clearing dotted by a lone grazing cow (complete with picture-book bell clanking around her neck). At the edge of the clearing, like an apparition, was a tiny ramshackle wooden cabin. From it, emanated the most amazing smell. In this tiny shack in the middle of nowhere, Schwarzwalders were cooking up sublime Pfannkuchen--giant cast-iron pancakes filled with apples and dusted with powdered sugar. Oh my god, that was a nice moment.

So when I awaken and I hear, "It's Frieburg weather," I sigh, put on my running shoes anyway and hope for the best. You never know when a pancake-filled apparition will be waiting around the corner.

NSV - Episode 2: Cheering Section

Some days when you least expect it, you will find that total strangers will cheer you on your running journey. These are some of the most delightful--perhaps because completely unexpected--Non Scale Victories.

One miserable morning, after a winter ice storm, I was out running, bundled up in four layers of polar fleece, following the only tolerable path I could find--the trail left by Chicago snowplows and salt trucks down the middle of my neighborhood streets. Parents were sliding along the thin covering of ice as they whisked kids off to school. Suddenly a crossing guard moved a barrier out of my way cheering, "God Bless you! Good for you! Go for it!" I suddenly felt a surge of energy.

Two blocks later, a mom was pulling her kids in a wagon inching down the slippery Chicago sidewalks. I'd never seen her before in my life, but she obviously lived somewhere on my running route. She yelled to me, "I've been watching you run since last year. You look fantastic!"
[I'm vain enough that the possibly creepy aspect of I"ve been watching you" left me unphased.] Wow! Now I was on fire.

These unexpected moments of encouragement and praise are a real reward for dedication to one's daily run. All of sudden, a middle-aged mom feels like an Olympian at the finish line. Complete strangers reach out to congratulate, encourage and boost my spirits.

That winter morning, following a nasty Chicago ice storm, I ran my first 8k ever. And I'm sure what put me over the top was the surge of energy from folks I don't even know by name. Thanks to each of them, wherever they are.

Running to Eat: St. Joseph's Day Zeppole

One of the best things about running and healthy eating is that celebrations are not about deprivation. This week our family celebrated St. Joseph's Day in a big way as Italo-Americans and Polish-Americans in Chicago tend to do. (We belong to the latter group.) Let's face it, how cool is it when there is a patron saint of pastry chefs? Really cool!

This meant a giant St. Joseph's Day Table (a large public feast), repeated consumption of spectacular Zeppole (amazing Sicilian St. Joseph's Day pastries), and much merriment. Such lively excess might have once spawned feeling of guilt for me. But now, oddly, its quite the opposite. As my WW leader says, I don't let a lapse become a collapse. That frees me up to really enjoy special events--because they aren't a landslide into dietary hell. They're just celebrations. No more and no less. They don't carry moral weight, they're not a test of my willpower or character, and they don't have to loom large on my worry-horizon. And when they're over they're over. So, as Chicago polka legend, the late Lil' Wally used to say, "Live it up!"

If you want to know more about how cool St. Joseph's Day is in Chicago, visit my Polish Traditions website or check me out in the Chicago Sun Times.

Tips For Special Events:

1. Don't go to the party ravenous. (An apple or high fiber snack beforehand helps.)

2. Always, ALWAYS keep track of your POINTS (TM). They keep you accountable. Is a zeppole worth an extra 6k run? The answer to me is, Yes!

3. Have a plan. Think about what you really want to enjoy. Don't miss out on what's special, but always ask "Is this item really worth it to me?" If it's not, skip it for the good stuff! I plan and write out my points before parties, special events and restraurants, finding that a plan really makes a big difference. If I graze or "wing it," things don't go nearly so well.

4. Remember, this is not about dieting. Dieting is evil. Enjoy your life on St. Joseph's Day and every day. Viva San Giuseppe!

NSV - Episode 1: With this ring...

At Weight Watchers, there is an adage that one must celebrate the Non Scale Victories (NSV). This really is an important idea because obsession with the scale will make you miserable and set you up for failure. In short, the scale cannot be controlled but your behaviors can. Moreover, if it's only about the scale, you miss the whole point of a healthy lifestyle.

Today's NSV: This week the magntitude of my accumulated weight loss hit me in a strange moment. I was talking a mile and minute and gesturing wildly (in short, a normal moment for me) when suddenly my wedding ring flew right off my hand, sailing across the room. I found myself at the jeweler admitting that I couldn't put off these sorts of adjustments to my new body. Right now that ring is at the shop, being resized. Its the first time in seventeen (17!) years that I've been without that ring for even a minute, let alone days. It feels strange, to be sure. But it's a lovely reminder of how far I've come. And yes, I'm much smaller than I was even on my wedding day almost seventeen years ago.

And my husband, not a jealous sort at all, suddenly wondered if it was a good idea for me to be on the town, looking hot without a wedding ring on....God Bless Non Scale Victories!

Welcome

I want to welcome some new readers--all my pals from Weight Watchers, especially our fearless leader, Peter. If you're new to this Blog, please start at the first posts and go backwards from there:

Introducing On Beyond Running

Becoming a "Real" Runner

Thanks for visting ON BEYOND RUNNING.

Ashes to Ashes....Eat my Dust

What an amazing symbol of middle-class childhood in the 1960's: the Brownie Scout ashtray lovingly crafted for my dad. Wow! What were they thinking?

All it took was a treasured photo, glass ashtray, some glue and some felt. Viola! A coffee-table symbol of childlike fidelity and adoration reminding the parental unit to think of me every time he lights up another Winston. Stunning. My mom found that trinket just the other other day, some 35 years later. And I've been looking at it in shock ever since.

But, mostly I've been feeling sad for the Brownie in the photo, staring back at me mutely from the bottom of the ashtray. She's so smart and sweet. And already so chubby way back in 1969. She doesn't have a clue that 40 years of plus sizes and the Big Girl Shop are coming her way. What a bummer.

I come from immigrant stock. That generation of caregivers thought they were giving us the American dream when they gave us unlimited access to soda pop, HoHos, twinkies and chips. Parental love American-style meant shoestring potatoes and trips to the Red Barn on Harlem Avenue. I didn't learn about mindful eating, whole foods or anything of the sort. And pretty soon I was whisked away from the super groovy Lemon Frog shop at the Six Corners Sears in Chicago straight over to the Chubby girls section. Pretty soon, there would be the abject terror of my total inability to perform the dreaded "flexed arm hang" in the President's Physical Fitness Challenge. (Remember those?)

I feel sad for that Brownie Scout Ann Marie--she had a lot of shit coming her way and she didn't have a clue. But I also feel glad for her. Because now that she's not chubby anymore, that girl in the ashtray can say eat my dust.

Newbie Notes for the Beginning Runner

If you're reading this and thinking about hitting the road as a runner, these are some beginner's tips I've learned through experience.

1. See your doctor first. Its safer, smarter and a good thing to do. I have a series of standing appointments with my physician to hold me accountable for my lifestyle changes and to touch base. When you see your BP, resting heart rate and cholesterol numbers become amazing, you'll be thrilled. It really works. Plus, she gives me a sticker for being good and I feel like my five year old son!

2. Consider doing this is conjunction with nutritional goals. My Weight Watchers meeting is filled with runners who swear that joining WW made a huge difference in their athletic performance. I concur. Oh, and one of those nutritional changes that counts is drink a lot of water. What corporations now call "hydrating," we used to call "drinking." Whatever you call it, it's important to do if you're working out.

3. Don't be a moron and go out there thinking you're the next Bruce Jenner or FloJo Joiner. You're not. You're never going to be. Running farther and faster than ever before on day one is a big mistake. You'll burn out, hate running, become injured and the whole she-bang will be over. For lots of us, going for a 12 minute jog is a good starting point. Its how I started. And for me it was more than hard enough. What you'll find is that 12 become 15 and 15 become 17.....Pretty soon a 5K is no big deal. But that takes time. Patience, grasshopper.

4. Don't be afraid to walk. Lots of runners have a macho thing about toughing it out. I personally am not a big walker. But lots of folks find that walking when you can no longer run and then running again is a great way to make it work. It's still exercise and it still "counts."

5. Do NOT use weather as an excuse. I live in Chicago. I run year round. If my husband (who runs daily) and I can both run year-round, so can you. If its winter, wear 4 layers of clothes. You'll be fine. My best run this winter was the 8k I did the morning after an ice storm.

5. Do NOT use your mood as an excuse. There are lots of ways to blow off a fitness plan. Indeed, the number of ways is infinite. Here's the deal: You lay down the law that fitness is non-negotiable and that's the end of the discussion. I schedule my runs in my palm pilot--they are as important as dentist visits, meetings at work, and everything else I manage to do. That's the deal. If you wait til you're "in the mood," you'll be waiting til the cows come home. Just lace up your shoes and go out the frackin' front door. If you're really filled with dread, make yourself a deal: "I'm going to run for five minutes. If I still hate it today, I will stop after five minutes." You know what, once you're out there, you'll find yourself adding five more "as long I'm out here anyway." And pretty soon the run is done.

Runner's Axiom # 1

If you join me in that strange shift from "person who hates to run" to "person who has to run," you will notice some odd axioms emerge from your experience.

Runner's Axiom #1:

The more you run, the more you run. Tautology is supposed to be avoided, I know. But this one is true. The more you run, the more you need to run. The more you run, the more you want to run. The more you run, the more you love to run. Partly, your body just gets better at this thing and you need more distance, speed or what-have-you to push the limits. I think this is part of the addictive quality that attracts so many Type A personalities to our activity. This one will sneak up on on you, but some day it will simply be a self evident truth. That's the day you will have morphed from person who hates to run to person who has to run.

The [Meta]physics of Running

Philosopher-types tend to love running. That includes me. But it's not for reasons you might suspect. Every new-age pseudo-spiritual theory about the zen of running is a ruse. Running will not give you anything like a nirvanic escape of selfhood. Running is not The Secret, a pseudo-spiritual capital-hugging panacea for the anxieties of modernity.

In fact, running is deliriously brutal most of the time. (If Sade were around, he'd have dumped the dungeon for the track long ago.) Most days, running smacks you square in the jaw with lots of self truths you'd rather not think about. (Like the amount of chateubriand and bags of chips you've actually consumed over the past twenty odd years. Like just how slow you actually are.)

Running is a philosophical pastime. You want Heideggerian Dasein ["authentic being there"]? The minute you hate that first half-mile, you'll be forced to confront the taunts of Das Man. Trust me.

You want phenomenological analysis? Running is a bodily experiment in Husserlian consciousness, messing with time as protention and retention, every step protends the next footfall and retends the last. Its like living suspended at the instant where the illusion of time grabs us....Somehow if I just keep going, maybe a little farther, I'll get to peep around the corner where space/time bends. Or.....maybe not.

Its no accident that physics is all about the laws of motion. For those of us cultural theorists who find Foucault fun and quantum mechanics sexy, running is a playground for postmodern post-subjectivity. And don't let the granola-humanist types tell you otherwise.

In Praise of Spring-like Chicago

I post this entry, Five Degrees of Separation (from January 07) by way of celebrating today's run: what might be called my first Springtime jaunt after a long winter of chilly workouts.

"In six months, I've really become dedicated to my fitness commitment. How do I know? Simple: five degrees of separation. Five degrees Fahrenheit is what separates me from an outdoor workout. That’s my rule. If it’s below 5 F, I do a 60 minute workout tape indoors. the rest of the time? Rain, sleet, snow, cold-- I'm out there, running a 5k. that’s a level of dedication I'm proud of."

Photo/Layout Design © 2007 Ann Hetzel Gunkel; Software: Adobe Photoshop; Papers & Embellishments by Thao Cosgrove at www.ScrapGirls.com

Eating to Run / Running to Eat

I love food. Everything about food. Its my favorite topic of conversation, favorite past time and even a favorite subject for scholarship. My best meals are accompanied by plans for the next meal or memories of past meals. I do not plan to jettison that love. Nor do I need to.

Here's the difference between loving food and mindlessly eating. (More or less the difference between the evil macho-industrial diet complex and a healthy change like Weight Watchers):

On a diet, you wake up and think, "Everything I manage NOT to eat today will get me to my goal." It's a disciplinary practice of self-deprivation. Its a goal charted around a negative space--what I DON'T eat. Before you've even stepped out of bed, you're doomed.

When you love food, you wake up and think, "Everything I WILL eat today will get me to my goal." Its about the energy of choosing well and loving food. About choosing well to fuel my runs. Its a goal charted around positive space--the geography of cuisine, the joy of what I DO eat. Before you even step out of bed, you've succeeded.

I learned from feminism ages ago that diets are evil. They are sexist disciplinary practices that create self-policing, self-hating docile bodies--aimed at making women, in particular, take up less cultural space (literally and metaphorically.) I don't do diets. That's why I've really found Weight Watchers to be an interesting experience. Its not a diet. Its a lifestyle. And its no accident that my foray into running coincides with that change.

Now I eat to run and run to eat. I don't run from eating.

I can't tell you what a difference this makes.

Becoming a "Real" Runner

The real change that matters when becoming a runner is your self-perception. In the end, how fast or how far you run are really and truly irrelevant. What matters is that you run. If you run, you are a runner. A real runner. It took me almost two years to figure out this simple fact. John "The Penguin" Bingham described my former self (and my first 5K race) with frightening accuracy,

For a long time I was embarrassed to be standing in a group of runners with a number pinned to my chest. How presumptuous, I thought, that I should try to join in. How outrageous of me to think that I, a waddling middle-aged [wo]man, could be one of them.

I remember standing at the starting line--no, actually standing well away from the starting line--when the nervous energy began to build at one race. I found myself trying to hide in the crowd, afraid that the race director would spot me, the imposter, and ask me to leave. "Hey you!" he calls out in my nightmare. "What are you doing here? This is a race for real runners."

It never happened, of course. [124, The Courage to Start, John Bingham, 1999, Simon & Shuster]

Now that I've learned my metaphysical lesson about the runner's reality principle it all seems so obvious. I spent hours of anxiety and hours of wasted effort worrying about being "found out." I was worried that the chubby mom on the block would look like a loser running through the neighborhood each day. I was afraid that someone would spot the poseur who had the audacity to pretend she was a real athlete. "Real runners" were those emaciated types with short shorts--a body type and mindset (I thought) that left me out.

But one day I figured it out--somewhere between my second 5K and my daily run in subzero Chicago winter. A real runner is someone who puts one foot in front of the other. And runs. Not as fast as an Olympian. Not as far as a marathon winner. But as fast and as far as she can. And that's more than enough. That's a real runner.

Introducing On Beyond Running

I'm your worst nightmare: a fitness convert. That's me, the buzzkill ex-smoker in a crowd that is metaphorically lighting up. This is the how-to and highlights of one middle-aged mom's conversion from couch potato to runner, from Cool Whip to Cool Max. For how and why I did it (and why you might want to try, too)...keep reading.

In two years I went from couch potato to runner. Not exactly a speedy transition, but patience is just one of the lessons I've learned from the running life. For the first year and a half, I ran about 1 mile a day, three days a week. Let me be perfectly clear: I hated it. Every second of it. All the time. Each time out, I waited hopelessly to improve and each time out, I thought I was going to die.

And then a few things changed...One, I decided to make health and fitness a priority. This coincided with my mid-forties and the realization that neither my health nor my fitness were particularly good. Two, I saw my physician (she runs too!) and decided to join Weight Watchers against my (supposedly) better judgment. That was a great move. When I started to consider the whole package: food, health, and fitness, stuff started to happen. I started to improve. I started to get faster and run longer. I moved from running pants marked with a double digit followed by a W (semiotic code for fat lady) to single digit jeans. I started to run races. I started to like it. In short, I became a runner.


"THE DISCLAIMER" I am not a physician, nor do I play one on TV. I have no expertise in health or fitness save my own experience. If you are looking to me for medical advice, get your head examined. But better yet, if you want to start running, do what I did--see your doctor. I owe endless thanks to our family physician, Dr. Jane Bang, M.D. who set me on this path.